i smell like sandalwood. as much as i love and appreciate all of you who read, watch, even have ever checked up on, my blog.. i realized i dont write for you.
i dont write to impress or gloat, self sooth, or help. i really only write for me. looking back on my old post it gives me courage and fills me with this feeling of actualization. i’ve still been upsetting myself over an ex sometimes, and i dont see why now. its okay that we’re not in love anymore. and its okay that i look different and he doesnt. he truely loved me, and im pretty sure i truely loved him, but its time to stop thinking about it because i didnt change. what he wanted changed and theres nothing i can do about that, i dont think i would if there was. we want different things.. and well i think hes a prick now. wait.. this isnt ment to be about him (however most of my old post were), i’m just glad it happened, and im glad i can remember every detail. im glad i know i was a better girl for him, then he was guy for me, im glad im still me.
sincerely thank you all for reading my blog, but i’ve deviated from me a bit here, it became my share page, things i hear, read love, like an actual blog, i was out to impress you. but im blogging for me again. not because im lonely or lost.. not because i need purpose in my life (i do, but why cant i be my own purpose) if none of you ever read me im fine with that. i need this.. i need to be able to look back when im doubting how i want my life and just smile, and whatever the fuck happens in the spand of a year.
this is not ment to be poetic, and its not ment to be beautiful. but i would like to be again. i need to keep my soul hungry. and not for the past.
future me reading this.. this is you now. and its okay to forever change always.
So i realized something..
